Rebuild

Old Story. I planned to update my blog in countless times. Plan is never enough.

This morning when i had my morning devotion, i learnt about how to response well when facing the problems. It's not a new thing coz i'm experiencing it all the time. Right now, i'm still learning to response like Jesus response. It's hard but possible to do it. Even there were failures but there were many times that i succeeded it. But, i have to do more. I don't have to wait problems to make a good response. I have to be pro-active. I asked Jesus,"what should i do?". How to response about something if there is no trigger at all? How to make a pro-active responsive? Then, i got the idea about "i have to inspire people with my life with Jesus". How? In a second i remembered my abandoned blog. I used to inspire people with it. One (or two) of my friend have told me that she could feel Jesus grace when read my blog. It's not about how many people read it. One people is precious for Jesus. Then, i concluded my devotion that i MUST update my blog today at any cost.

The cost is, i have to make this as my top priority. I have a work to do but i know that i will never update my blog if i postponed it again. I want to obey what i got from my meeting with Jesus this morning. I rebuild "Thousand Sunny" and convert it into "Professional Dreamer". Why? because i'm growing up to the next level.  My life is not the same as before. Professional Dreamer represents a maturity. I promised to myself to update my blog regularly and it starts with today :) People say time is money and maybe i loss money coz i'm using my time to rebuild my blog today. Maybe i loss opportunities but i believe that it is WORTH IT. I know that i do what Jesus want me to do it with this blog. And i will see that Jesus will exchange my loss opportunities with the other opportunities. After all, i miss to inspire people again. And i miss my blogger friends!! Bee, Valen, Fe, Olive, Russ, Ling-Ling, Josua, ect. How are you guys?

just happened!

Yeah..what i tell you here is just happened. After i finished my lunch when break-time, i decided to walk outside the office to find some fresh air. It's gloomy so it was a perfect time to walk outside. Unlike before, i decided to walk farther. It was nice guys, coz there are so many vintage buildings nearer my office and each of them has a history value. The weather was magnificent too. Different with you ride a vehicle, when you are walking you can feel the atmosphere perfectly as you can see everything around you clearly. I walked around about 40 minutes (my other motivation to do this is to do some sports-for the sake of my belly-) You know what, during that time, i experienced five extraordinary events which i won't never predict before.

1. At the DPRD Building, i witnessed a demonstration of a farmer from Kediri. They brought flags and yelled their will in front of police groups. Thankfully the demonstration was running in peace :)

2. I continued my walk and i passed the kindergarten school. There was a playground where the kindergarten girls were playing. I didn't notice them until some of them called me "Ko...ko...ko..." (it's the term of big brother) I turned my head and looked they were laughing.They kept calling me as i continued my little journey. Can you imagine? i am 26 years old, teased by kindergarten girls!

3. I can't believe what i experienced this. After felt little awkward with the kindergarten girls did, a moment later there was a Taxi Driver urinated on the ditch while facing the street!!! I worship GOD coz created my GREAT REFLEX so i didn't see it clearly. I directly threw my sight!!! Gosh!! Couldn't imagine if i didn't do that. I mad of him by the way. Was he insane??

4. While thanking God coz i didn't have to remember the previous event, i found a roadside Pempek Palembang (Name of my fave food) seller. I bought it and ate it as i walked. So delicious!!! Wanna look it again next time :)

5. I almost reached my office! Unbelievable, i walked for 40 minutes in the middle of my office hour (in the breaktime of course). I felt thirsty and bought a bottle of Tebs from a roadside drink seller. So fresh!! I paid him more and refuse to receive the change. He looked me with puzzle face as i left him lol

Well, it's an amazing experience!!! Except number 3 of course. So happy coz i was experiencing it in the middle of my day. Unexpected and unpredicted. Thank you Jesus for this hehehe =)

Post Holiday

Yesterday was my first day at work and my opportunity to blog is today lol (you can guess the reason why) I have a wonderful holiday (maybe one of the most :P). Like last year, i got flu at the beginning of my holiday, Gosh! But by the time i restored, i really use my days to do what i couldn't do before lol. I met many of my friends, slept as much as i wanted, and tried some new stuffs. I had plenty of time to get relax (not think about work or deadline at all). It really refreshed my mind and right now, i'm on fire!!! So many things to do, so many plans to be done but i'm excited :D How about you, guys?

tears

Melancholic. That word is so suit to me. I often think with my feeling, not my brain (really). I'm so easy to dramatize a situation or moved by others feeling. There are positive aspects and negative aspects in this. One of them is tears (and i don't know it is +/-)

People said that "a men shouldn't cried" but because of what i wrote above, sometimes i'm so easy to cry. When experienced a drama movie, when God touched my heart with HIS WORDS personally, when in desperation or hopeless or when i miss my father, i began to cry. To be honest, i often feel ashamed coz i'm a men and i shouldn't cry that easy :P

Like i wrote in my previous post, i'm never experiencing GOD as real as now. I'm in a huge struggle and i'm fighting with my hope and faith day by day. There are times that i feel so weak and hopeless. Then i cried. I locked myself in my room, prayed and cried to my only Savior.

One day GOD spoke to my deepest heart HIS words (Psalm 56:8) "You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle--are they not in Your book?"

The other day GOD spoke to me personally in the middle of the Sunday Service. When i was in HIS presence, worshiped HIM, He told me,

"One day you will cry a happy tears not a misery one"

I couldn't tell a single word coz it was an amazing experience i had ever have. God knows and He cares for my every struggle and hope.

(T__T)

Be Happy, Bless The Lord

design illustration by: Ros Steele

"May God bless you" or "Oh Lord, bless me"

We often hear that kind of statement but do you know that we can bless our God? I just knew it when i had my Sunday Service in Church yesterday. I can't share you the whole preacher (coz i can't remember all :P) but i can share some of what i got and this is the one that most amazed me. It is that me and you can bless God. By express our happiness and joy in life, we have blessed God. It shows that God is "IN US" and it blesses HIM. In the time of struggling like what i have now, sometimes i feel strange if i'm still in joy but in the meantime the problems are still there. But, now i have a reason to be happy even i'm still struggling the problems. That's because i can bless my lovely GOD. Be Happy, Bless The LORD :D

this morning

"Wa'i" that's a call name for my lovely aunt. She is my mother's eldest sister and we live together since i was at elementary school. She is like my second mom and i love her as much as i love my mom. And right now, because my mother live at outer island with my bro and sis, there are just the two of us in the house.

This situation makes her become so busy coz she has to take care many things in the house unlike when my mother was still here. I help whatever i can help but it can't really much coz i have to go work. Sometimes i feel guilty when i often not at home coz i have my own business but i do try to schedule my time wisely so there are days i'm at home to accompany her.

Couple of times, when she tired, she said something that made me down. I know she didn't mean it coz i know she has a good heart. But sometimes i couldn't accept it and we had a little conflicts. That made me prefer to be silent coz i was afraid when i said things that made her sad.

Yesterday, when i was in a hurry to go for soccer, she told me her story. She was sad about one thing and told me how she feel. I know she needed my attention that time then i stopped for a while to listen.

This morning when i had my morning devotion, God gave me a wisdom that i should ask her to have a morning prayer everyday. I doubted it coz we are not get used to do that. It will be awkward. I planned to postpone it but the Holly Spirit inside me kept telling me that i had to do it now. I obeyed it.

Before i went to work, i asked her to have a morning prayer and then we prayed together for the first time. We prayed for our life and our family problem. We prayed for our family's member one by one. We gave our thanks to God because of His grace. She cried and i almost cried (well, i tried my best to not cry that time). It was an amazing moment. I felt God's grace poured down to both of us and i believe to our family also. Hopefully from today, we can have a morning prayer everyday. From last night till now i don't feel ok with my body coz i have a fever but this make me so happy and relieve. Thank you Jesus for this morning experience. You are really amazing!!! :D

updates

I have forgotten how fun when i write something and post it in thousand sunny. Lack of time is always be the number one reason. But i feel so unproductive to write, even just to update what i am doing in thousand sunny. Still remember how amazing i experience INCEPTION, a movie that i watched twice at theater. But i didn't post anything about it. This morning, i write something in my personal notebook and i found myself excited. I want to write again...whatever i have, i want to write about anything. Good or bad writing, i don't care :P

Lately, i'm doing great in my life actually. There are some goals (which i set it in the beginning of the year) are fulfilled or make a good progress. I'm so happy with that. What am i doing? here they are:

1. I can save more! :D
2. I read some great books which give me positive input and motivation, one of them makes my faith stronger. Right now, i read a book about creativity and i'm so excited to finish it. So now, i just not only read comics or Harry Potter but also a useful books.
3. I took a drawing course this month. I realize that i'm still faaaaaar away from being a great designer so i decided to take this course to make me better. I have a friend who is a professional illustrator and he agree to be my teacher. Yesterday was my first course =)
4. Many to come

Last year perhaps is my best year in my life and i believe that with Jesus, this year will be better and the year after and so on and sooooo on!

Collection

Since childhood, i get used to collect things. Dragon Ball cards, stamps, coins, and right now, comics. Like the word"collect", it means that we gather things we collect one by one. The sensation when we can add new collection is always excited.

In the journey of faith, there are "things" we can collect also. Right now, i face the impossible situation but i will never give up coz i'm walking with faith. I keep praying while waiting God's best time for my situation. But, when i'm in the process until God answer my prayers, I have to walk in my journey of faith.

I really need God's grace when i'm in a journey of faith. There are many situations that can weaken my faith or tempt me to do wrongs (even sins). How to face those are how we response. When the situation force you to doubt your faith or tempt you to commit sins, you always have a choice to make a response towards it.

What kind of response? The good one i hope.

Last week, i had so many revelations from my daily devotion (too bad i couldn't post them here). One of the point is when we receive Jesus as our God and believe in Him, Jesus will stay inside our heart and because of that we can do all things with Him. Because with Him, all things mean good things.

It is hard to make a good response all the time and we can fail at any time. But God wants us to practice it over and over. He never accused us when we fail coz He loves us. He knows we needs help and practice in this journey of faith.

Right now, with all my success and failure in my journey of faith, i just want to collect the good responses, one by one, day by day...until i see the answer of my prayer.

"THEREFORE, SINCE we are justified through faith, let us have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ."

Ring Ring...

(Unknown Number)

"yeah, hello?"
-------------
"this is Alvin?"
-------------
"yes, i am"
------------
"this is from Wins Disc (movie house).
We just want to inform that your movie order are ready to be taken."
------------
"you mean Lovely Bones, Green Zone, and Shutter Island?"
------------
"yes, they are!"
------------
"HURRRAYYYYY!!!"
------------

Ps: i skipped to watch those movies in the theater and
right now i'm going to watch them soon :D

thought of the day

From 3:16, The Numbers of Hope - Max Lucado

The latest two days was quite hard to me. I committed sins and the feeling was worse. I knew that's wrong but that time i just couldn't help it. I was frustrated and felt improper in front of God. I knew in that kind of situation, i can run to God, ask for forgiveness and God will definitely forgive me. I prayed to God, told all my weaknesses but then i was still fighting to win it. I felt so improper and disgraceful to God. I kept praying and ask for help to God coz i couldn't help it. God always hears our prayer and He gave me strength to overcome it. Today, i decided to be a winner and look what i found in my email this morning? An article from Max Lucado and the quote (above) spoke to the deepest of my heart. I'm fully restored coz i decided to receive God's love. Thank you for transform me from a loser to a Winner, Jesus =)

sleepy day

Oh My God, i'm terribly sleepy today...Only sleep for three hours...after watched World Cup Hooooaaahhhemmmm nyam nyam...wanna share amazing things that i got in yesterday preach but have no spirit at all today. Not a great day in the office and i just wanna go home!!!

My bad -_-"

:'(

The headline "Tutto Nero" means "mourn". Yes, Italy is going home. They even can't make round 16. Yesterday was my gloomy day. I didn't want to read any article about them and i even said that i don't want to watch the rest of this world cup. What i did was 180 degree with four years ago, when they became the number one in the world.

My first reaction: i was upset then blamed them because they played soooo bad as the latest World Cup Champion. And because of that kind of performance, they deserved to not get through into the next round. There were so MANY reasons to blame their failure. Then i decided to read their article in Goal.com and i read huge fans all over the world commented about this. Like me, they are disappointed and wrote every reason to blame the Italian team.

I'm not gonna discuss the reason why they fail in this blog coz it's useless. What i want to share is at the first time i was like the fans who blame and hate their failure but what i felt next was i was so sad. It happened when i went home and saw the photo of the Italian player cried, displayed as a headline in the newspaper. That time, i was sad and regretted coz i blamed them. What the Italian players feel was more than what the fans feel. As a World Champion, it is a huge humiliation for their pride to exit like this.

My friend told me,"why are you so sad like that? it's only football!" or "it's even not your country!" LOL i couldn't explain that but i just feel like that. Somehow i'm so attached with this country. I support them since i was a child. That's why i decided not to be disappointed and blame them again. I believe they will be in the top of the world again (Amen!).

This morning, when i had a conversation with my older sister, she started to talk about this then i replied that i was sad when saw their picture in newspaper.

She said,"you are not only love their football but you really love the country itself"

LOL. That's all the answer of what i felt yesterday. Right now, i decided to keep watching the World Cup and i support England. Why? Coz their coach is Italian :D

You can do it, Fabio Capello!!

blessings

1. i got dengue fever that force me to have one week full-rest at home instead at hospital
2. because i was sick, my mom talked to me again (lay aside the previous conflict) and we spent lots of time with conversation because i was totally at home.
3. Finally, i got 3 months delayed design payment and it finished my laptop's credit. Now i am free from debt, yey!!!
4. Inter Milan, football club from Italy, beat Bayern Munchen in the final and become The European Champion after 45 years!!
5. Got my new watch which i like it very much
6. Attended a "wonderful" wedding =)
7. Got back my blogging spirit, miss to inspire and to be inspired again
8. My office tasks is still in control after i left it for one week
9. Finally could watch IP Man 2 yesterday and feel the "watching great movie sensation" again
10. Have a wonderful relationship with God these last 2 weeks in early morning, everyday and it has strengthen my faith day by day.

of course, problems are still there but,
Thank you for the blessings, Jesus!!! You must love me so much!!!!

Heart-Sport (Sport Jantung)

Yeah, that's what i felt this early morning when watched Barcelona vs Inter Milan. The game was so thrilling for both sides especially for Inter fan (I'm not an Inter Fan but i support them as Italian Football fan) Inter Milan had to play with 10 men because one of them was red-carded by the referee. That's why, the match was so thrilling coz Barcelona had never stop to attack Inter Milan until very last minutes. The last 1o minutes was the worse coz Barcelona finally scored and they only need one more goal to bury Inter Milan's dream. I pray to God so hard (over and over) so that Inter will go to the final..."Please...please God...give them (Inter players) strength and give the coach a wisdom to win this stage." Then the final whistle was there and Barcelona couldn't add one more goal. Inter Milan go to the final. An Italian club to the final of European Champion's League!!!! Yeyy!!! So excitedddd and happyyyy!!! Hehehee...Hope they can beat Bayen Munchen in final stage (Amen!)

the sweetest thing

After watched Inter's winning, i didn't sleep and i had plenty of time for my devotion. This week, i'm learning from Nehemia's life and i'm blessed. When i prayed, Holy Spirit spoke to me, "if God hear your prayer for Inter Milan's winning (small thing), how can He don't hear your prayers for the greater thing? He is listening your prayers everyday." Then, it was confirmed by the article i read. It's John Mason's quote,"When God is planning to do the sweetest thing, He starts it with impossibility." I smiled and relieved =) Right now, i face the impossibility but i know Jesus is with me and He will transform that impossible thing into the most sweetest things in my life, Amiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnn =)

C'Monn INTER!!!

Tonight tonight TONIGHT!!!! 1.45 AM...can't wait for that time. Inter Milan, the only Italian club, who left in semifinal and have the greatest opportunity to reach final coz in the first match, they had beaten Barcelona 3-1 in San Siro, Milan. Tonight, they will face the second match in the home of Barcelona at Nou Camp. C'monn Inter!!!! you can do it, guys!! Forza ITALIA!!

ps: One of my friend in the office (Inter supporter) is wearing Inter Milan T-shirt lol...

jakuote #13

"But without faith it is impossible to please and be satisfactory to Him. For whoever would come near to God must believe that God exists and that He is the rewarder of those who earnestly and diligently seek Him" - Hebrew 11:6

I got this verse this morning and i directly memorize it so i will never forget this verse. I have a situation. A huge one. My main struggle in my life - so sorry cannot tell in detail here but i PROMISE i will share it to you when the time has come, you have my words =)

So in this situation, i'm more than convince that i do the RIGHT thing and this is one of God's purpose in my life. There are many confirmations and revelations from God to support my line above. But right now, im facing something which block the way. At first i felt so sad and depressed by it. But, a friend gave me Psalms 16:7 - "When a man's ways please the Lord, He makes even his enemies to be at peace with him." It had strengthen me and by close to God, i can feel peace even the situation is still blocking the way.

Then this morning i got the verse from Hebrew 11:6. It's all about faith. How to please God is only with faith. And when my life is pleasing God, He will make a peace with my enemy (the situation that block the way). Sometimes, doubt can haunt me to weaken my faith but this morning i have a resolution to always remember my picture of faith. Yeah, i have pictured my faith, as clear as blu-ray resolution :D

This experience has produced this jakuote #13 =) In my situation right know, my faith is my BEST asset and i'm thankful because of it...Thanks for these revelations God...

After 8 days, now i'm...

Passed the night, now let's see the sunrise =)

hiatus...

Guys, so sorry...I will be off from blogging for a while (hope not long) Lately, i feel so unexcited (running out of time at work and some family manners) so it's not easy for me to blog. I've tried but i can't. I'm so lack of inspirations and creativity. I think i need some time to refresh =) Hope i will be back in excitement like usual. Viva Blogging!! =)

Fun Friday!!

This friday is a holiday (yey!!!) My cell group plan to have a little adventure to our City Monument and Museum (image above) Beside that, we will have a "Culinary Tour" at Kepanjen - a place where many delicious food gathered :P Hope this will be a fun day and it can make our fellowship stronger. Cant wait for the Day!!!

3 in 1

Few years ago, I had my devotion about prayer which can be granted. The article put Matthew 7:7 as the main verse. It says:

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you”

When I read this verse at the first time, I thought like this,“how easy all of this. We just ask and will be given; just seek, and will find; just knock and it will be opened..Woo..i want to experience that but that’s not as simple as it is rite? That’s too easy!” That’s my first idea when i read this verse. I asked in my mind,”What’s the correlation between this verse and prayer which can be granted?”

God verses in the bible cant be read just in a glace or just like read novel, comic etc. God verses have lots of meaning and it speaks in many ways. Even we have read the verse over and over, it can speak again in the different way every time we read it. It’s beyond our common sense.

But, we cannot experience God’s words if we are not preparing our heart properly. I usually pray before I read it. I ask God to give me wisdom so I can understand His words with His perspective not mine. I did it when I read Matthew 7:7 and the verse spoke to me! Now I know what the verse means by ask, seek and knock. I found that they are three actions which become into one process and they must be done in sequent. First, ask. Second, seek. Then third, knock.

1. Ask, and it will be given to you

• The first step is “Ask”. The word of ask speaks about will, need, hope or whatever we wish in our life. Without them, we will not ask (or need) for something. We must aware that we need something from God. Something that we cannot do by our own strength.

2. Seek, and you will find

• “Seek” means there must be an action to do. After we tell God what we need, we must do something to act. Maybe what we need are beyond our strength but we can do the best we can. We do our part. This is the second step.

3. Knock, and it will be opened to you

• This is the final step and the most important one, “Knock”. After telling our need (or wish), doing the best we can, now we surrender both to God. How? We go to His presence then knock the door so we can enter and stay in His presence. When we knock the door, we must want to enter inside rite? We need to close to God so we have strength before we get what we've prayed. Thank God because He never rejects us. God always open His door whenever we want to enter because He loves us.

So, if we think God don’t grant our prayer or He don’t give what we need, please re-check what we have done. Have we done the three of them or not?


-september, 19th 2008-