Jesus

Jesus
The name of a HERO who died for me and saved my life
Now, i am a free man

Jesus
The name of a FATHER who replaced the previous one
Now, i am not an orphan

Jesus
The name of a FRIEND who never leave me
Now, i am not alone

Jesus
The name of a PERSON who give an example
Now, i am a better man

Jesus
The name of MY GOD who mastered all the impossibility
Now, i am a believer

I love YOU, Jesus.

Never

Never i'm experiencing YOU as real as now
When i 'm clueless in situation i can't handle, there YOU are
Even when i'm speechless in my prayer, there YOU know
I gave up to list how many WORDS, GRACE, and BLESSING that YOU have given to me

There nowhere i can get my rescue except from YOU
My Lord and My Savior.

Prisoner Of Hope

I am in the empty room, alone and clueless
It is dark but there still a light at the top of the wall
I wanna climb the wall to seek my freedom
I am desperate to get out from here coz i'm tired

I believe there is a solution behind the wall
The light will save my hope
Every time i climb the wall, i fall
But, i try one more time, one more...

How often i fail to climb the wall
How often i try to climb it again
This make me stronger and my hope refuse to be extinct
That's because my sight is always see the light

How can i see another else beside the light?
Like i said before, i am in the empty room
But then i realize that i am not alone coz there still a light
I am the prisoner of hope

Dad

When i lost my dad, YOU found me, saved me and be my Daddy. When i need someone to be followed, to teach me character or how to deal with problems, there YOU are. I enjoyed our time together recently, Dad. When i talk to you about my plans, my failure, my success, my concerns, my future, or what i feel. There's nothing i can hide from you. I can be an honest person when i'm with YOU, Daddy. YOU know everything about me and YOU are setting my character right now, just to be like YOU. I like it, Dad. Moreover, who don't want to be a men like YOU? Teach me to be like YOU, Dad. "Like Father Like Son". Thank you for being my greatest Dad, Jesus.

like YOU

You are the one who made me
You shaped me and wrote my days
The way i've been through is in your preservation
Your eyes are watching me, Oh Lord

Every incidents in my life happened only by Your permission
It formed my character, the foundation of my life
When the storms come, It stands still
You've known it all from the beginning

I remember that i was angry with You
Coz You made me like this
Why i can't do things like everybody do
Why i can't have the chance, to escape from myself

But now i know
day by day
i know....
that You are weaving me

This moment, i start to see it
that You are making something in me
something good, like You wanted
Good like You

Oh Lord, i won't disgrace You again...
i like the way You form me
i like to be Johan Alvin Khosuma
More and more, teach me to be like You want

today, i'm not a looser

I lift up my hands to You
Asking for help
I was trying to do this alone
Then i was a looser

Help me
Help me
Help me, God!
I need Your hands!

I don't want to be a looser anymore
I hate it, and You know that
It's a fate for me to be a winner
You had decided it from the beginning

With You, i am more than a winner
and today, i'm not a looser

HAVE a GR8 DAY, guys :D

Wonderful Wrestling

I want to share what i got from my sunday's devotion. I planed to post it faster but i couldn't so this is it, the "Wonderful Wrestle". On sunday, the devotion was about Jacob's wrestling with God (Genesis 32:22-32). If you read this story, at that time, Jacob's persistence made God cannot prevail him until God touched the hollow of his thigh; and Jacob's thigh was put out of joint as he wrestled with God. They wrestled from night until morning. What i get from this story is Jacob's spirit to not give up no matter what. What Jacob did, inspires me. These are what i get from the story.

1. Verse 24 - "And Jacob was left alone, and a Man wrestled with him until daybreak."
The time when Jacob wrestled with a Man (God Himself) was at night and he was alone that time. That situation represents when we live in the problems that we can not handle. Everything looks so dark that we can not see the solution and it's like we are alone and helpless. But in this verse...It says that the wrestling was ended when the daybreak came. The darkness are transformed into the sunrise. When we struggle the problem with God, we will see the sunrise, the bright side of our problem. So don't struggle alone (or feel alone) when you are in the darkness of your problem, struggle with God.

2. Verse 29 - "Then Jacob asked Him, Tell me, I pray You, what is Your name? But He said, Why is it that you ask My name? And a blessing on there."
Jacob didn't know that the Man he wrestled with was God who disguise as a Man. But after the wrestling ended, Jacob realized that it was God (Verse 25 - And Jacob called the name of the place Pniel, saying, For I have seen God face to face, and my life is spared and not snatched away) What can we learn from this part? We can learn that problem struggling makes us to know God more. When we live in hard circumstances, we will hang to God more and because we are so close to God, we can know Him more.

3. Verse 26 -"Then He said, Let Me go, for day is breaking. But [Jacob] said, I will not let You go unless You declare a blessing upon me."
At the first time, Jacob hadn't realized that the sunrise had come. The fight was over and he had already blessed. Because Jacob is a person with persistence who never give up, he didn't want to let the Man go until he was blessed. We can learn from what Jacob did from this. In hard circumstances and it seems like there are no solutions, don't give up. Why? because the sun will rise and in that sunrise, there are blessings. Behind every life struggling, we can find blessings from God. And that what God did to Jacob.

God blessed Jacob. God in that time is the same with God right now. God wants to bless us when we struggle with Him. Life is never easy...there are many problems ready to test us. Have a wonderful wrestling with God =)

The Story of a Runner

The cheers from spectators in the stadium are rumbling when he finishes his race. He has run for 5 km and he finished it as a number one. He wins the gold medal for his country and the audiences from all over the world are watching his victory.

Reporters run to him and ask him some questions. “We heard that you have an injury in your right foot but you can still win the race. How can you do that? Is it not hurt?”

“You can’t imagine how hurt I feel in my right foot.” He shows them his right food. They can see some pattern of blood from his right running shoe.

The reporters are seeing each other with fuzziness. “Then how could u still run with that kind of foot? And unbelievable u won it! What made u to not give up the race?”

He answers, “Because my father never gave up on me.”

One day after the race, many newspapers published the story of him. What made him never gave up even he felt huge pain in his right foot during the race.

When he was a child, the place where he leaved was in a war. Many people tried to run from their house, looked for safety zone. There are many explosions everywhere and many unlucky people had died. At that crucial time, he, who still 5 years old, was playing with his friends in the ground. His friends had run away but he couldn’t run with them because his right foot was bleeding. Some of the explosions near his place had gotten his right foot. He was crying in the middle of the ground while explosions and gun shots were everywhere. A moment later, his father run to him, grabbed him and took him to the safe zone.

“Are you okay? What happen with ur foot?” His father was terrifying when saw his son’s right foot was full with blood.

He didn’t answer coz he couldn’t stop crying. He was terrifying he would die.

“Listen son, I will never let you die…Don’t be afraid! I will take you to the safe zone. I promise, okay?”

His father smiled on him and suddenly he felt better. He smiled back to his father when one bullet got his father’s waist. But his father kept running.

“Daddy, are you okay?”

“I’m okay, son! don’t worry, you will not die…I promise! U will not die….” his father replied. He could feel his father’s breath was heavier than before. Then he saw that his father’s shirt was turn into red. After got the first shot, his father had two more shots in some parts of the body.

Finally, he was taken to the safe zone then his father died coz he run out of blood. He saw his father smiled before leaved him for the rest of his life.

“My father never gave up so i can live, that’s why I will live and never give up.”

To Golgota, not in a single second, Jesus thought to give up his cross. Why He did it? Coz He wants me and you to live and never give up in life.

the special one

Dreamers,
There will be more laughter welcome you
Those pessimistic eyes will always stare on you
Begging you to sell your dream for their satire satisfaction

Fighters,
Giving up is your public enemy #1
Slick floor of temptation will be your place to stand on
Anything will push you until you say “I quit”

Believers,
See nothing
Prove nothing
Just believe

Whoever you are, world don’t own you
Coz you are the special one

Keep dreaming, keep fighting and keep believing

peace from jak, have a nice weekend =)

Braveheart

Be brave...
To believe the best quality in people
Even your eyes only see their mistakes
Coz that's the way God believes us

Be brave...
To work for your dream
Even your own self say that it's impossible
Coz in God impossible is nothing

Be brave...
To defend your true love no matter what
Even it takes for the rest of your life
Coz true love is a treasure from God and it's worth to be fought

Be brave...
To live your faith
Even your mind is torturing you with doubts
Coz this is the only matter to God

When you loose your faith, you loose everything
Be brave...

3 in 1

Few years ago, I had my devotion about prayer which can be granted. The article put Matthew 7:7 as the main verse. It says:

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you”

When I read this verse at the first time, I thought like this,“how easy all of this. We just ask and will be given; just seek, and will find; just knock and it will be opened..Woo..i want to experience that but that’s not as simple as it is rite? That’s too easy!” That’s my first idea when i read this verse. I asked in my mind,”What’s the correlation between this verse and prayer which can be granted?”

God verses in the bible cant be read just in a glace or just like read novel, comic etc. God verses have lots of meaning and it speaks in many ways. Even we have read the verse over and over, it can speak again in the different way every time we read it. It’s beyond our common sense.

But, we cannot experience God’s words if we are not preparing our heart properly. I usually pray before I read it. I ask God to give me wisdom so I can understand His words with His perspective not mine. I did it when I read Matthew 7:7 and the verse spoke to me! Now I know what the verse means by ask, seek and knock. I found that they are three actions which become into one process and they must be done in sequent. First, ask. Second, seek. Then third, knock.

1. Ask, and it will be given to you

• The first step is “Ask”. The word of ask speaks about will, need, hope or whatever we wish in our life. Without them, we will not ask (or need) for something. We must aware that we need something from God. Something that we cannot do by our own strength.

2. Seek, and you will find

• “Seek” means there must be an action to do. After we tell God what we need, we must do something to act. Maybe what we need are beyond our strength but we can do the best we can. We do our part. This is the second step.

3. Knock, and it will be opened to you

• This is the final step and the most important one, “Knock”. After telling our need (or wish), doing the best we can, now we surrender both to God. How? We go to His presence then knock the door so we can enter and stay in His presence. When we knock the door, we must want to enter inside rite? We need to close to God so we have strength before we get what we've prayed. Thank God because He never rejects us. God always open His door whenever we want to enter because He loves us.

So, if we think God don’t grant our prayer or He don’t give what we need, please re-check what we have done. Have we done the three of them or not?


-september, 19th 2008-

im not giving up tonight

I’m a knight who fight for the sake of the light

Even in the darkest one, my sight is always bright
And tonight, my flight will be full of delight
Coz i'll fly to the perfect height so I can see the twilight

God, You are my lantern
Just in You
I will never give up,
Because You've never given up


“If I take the wings of the morning or dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, Even there shall Your hand lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me” - Psalm 139:9-10

Not Only But Also

Pray is...
Not only, “God, i need Your grace to make my life great”
But also, “God, I need Your grace so my families and my friends will have a great life”

Pray is...
Not only, “God, please bless my business, my health, and my life”
But also, “God, please bless my city, my nation and people who haven’t known Your love”

Pray is...
Not only, “God, today is December 21st. It’s my birthday, wish me a great life, please...”
But also,”God, today is December 25th, Happy Birthday to Youuu!!!”

Pray is
Not only, “God, I have a bad day today…”
But also, “Good morning God!! How are You?”

Pray is...
Not Only, “God, I want this and I want that..”
But also, ”God, what do You want from me?”

Pray is...
Not only, “help meee!!! Please!!!”
But also, “Hi God! What are You doing? I miss You..”

Pray is...
Not only, "God, why these all happen to me?"
But also, "God, what is Your plan with this situation?"

Pray is non-stop conversation with God…
Why non-stop?
Coz God is always around you =)


ps: Got this inspiration when read 1 Timothy 2:7 this morning. Keep praying guys =)

coach

I’m a rookie football player. And today is my first debut in a professional match. This is my first match in front of thousand spectators in this stadium. Their yelling make an unbelievable sound that makes my feet shaking.

“Calm down, calm down…just do like what I did in practice and I will do great. I’m a talented player. That’s why coach puts me here. He knows I’m talented. Calm down…Calm down…”

The referee blows the whistle and the first match in my life begins.

I have to do great to make coach impressed and put me again in the other match. I am a striker and I have to make goal. That’s my job and with my talent, I will make it in this match.

The match has already passed 30 minutes. This is the real match, not the exercise. I can’t match them. They are so strong. Every move I made is blocked away by the enemy defenders. I almost lost my breath. Now I know, this is a professional match.

Then, the ball is given to me…

My teammates set up a brilliant pass to me and I’m in the good position to make a goal. Only a goalkeeper in front of me. I can’t believe this golden chance comes to me.

I will make a goal!

I shoot but I shoot the wind.
One defender was sliding the ball away before I shot it.
I’m too slow. And the golden chance is flying away.

The half time whistle is blown and it can be my last chance in this match.

I fail.

And coach will substitute me with other player. I did a terrible match. I can’t make a single good move and throw away the golden chance to make a goal. Coach must be very disappointed because of me.

In the dressing room, I sit with a bow down head. Whatever coach will say to me I will receive it. I deserve that coz I fail. I was too arrogant, thinking that I would do great coz I have talents. Then, coach sits in front of me. I lift my head to him and the first thing I see is one can of pocari sweat.

“Drink it”

I drink it, still try not to look my coach’s face. I have no guts to see his disappointed face.

“You know why I chose u as a striker in this important match?”

“Mmm...because I’m talented, that’s what I thought but I was wrong…I fail u, coach”

Now, I'm looking his face and I'm not looking the face that I thought before. He sees me into my eyes .

“I chose u because I trust u”

“But..i can’t match them, I’m too slow, too weak, and too…”

“That’s what u think…do as what u did in the practice”

“I have, but I fail.”

“I give u another chance…if u fail again, I will give you the other one…”

“Why are u doing this, coach?”

“Because I trust u”

I answer nothing. He keeps seeing me straight into my eyes while he said that word.

“Now, stand up. The second half is about to start. Go and make goals!!!”

“Thanks coach”

sugar

1 kilo of sugar is…
When u laugh so hard coz u read a super funny email (like I did this morning)
But it only lasts for five minutes

10 kilos of sugar is…
When u are watching Jim Carrey acts foolishly in one and a half hour comedy movie
But when the credit title is shown, u are back in sorrow

50 kilos of sugar is…
When people appreciate ur works or talents and let u know that u’ve done great things
they are sweet words but it can’t make the mass of bitterness in ur heart fades away
and it’s not exactly what u really need at that time

100 kilos of sugar is…
When a best friend tries to make a joke just to make u smile and forget about ur misery
Maybe the joke only makes u smile for a second but the caring intention makes it lasts for years
And it’s the sweetest thing which a best friend can do to u

1000 kilos of sugar is…
When u are completely lose urself and exactly don’t know what u feel
When u are effortless and in the edge of the desperation abyss
And God says,
“whatever is true, whatever is worthy of reverence and is honorable and seemly, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely and lovable, whatever is kind and winsome and gracious, if there is any virtue and excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think on and weigh and take account of these things.”

1000 kilos of sugar is a decision,
And God's which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus

That’s all I need
And saves me
=)


Do u have a bitter heart these days? how many kilos of sugar do u need right now?

Train Station

Today, I take my old friend to the train station. This is the time when we have to say good bye. My old friend will go and never comeback. To be honest, I can withhold my old friend to not leave me. But I had my decision that I will let my old friend go.

Before enter the train, I call my old friend for the last time. I want to say something. My old friend turns around and faces me.

“Thank u for accompanying me all these time. It’s hard u know, to let u go…To be honest, I often hope u will disappear coz ur existence hurt my heart…so much. In countless time I want to throw u away from my life…I regret to know u. But I couldn’t let u go…I just couldn’t. Coz u gave me beautiful memories too. U were always with me. When im down, u were always there to make me feel that at least im not alone.”

“Then, why u let me go now?” my old friend ask me.

“This is a hard decision u know, maybe the hardest one. But I have to make this. I have to let u go to continue my life. I always failed to do that coz somehow, I still can’t forgive u and myself. But now is different, I have forgiven myself…and now I want to make peace with u…I want to let u go in peace..”

My old friend smile to me, “Im proud of u and u are right…u have to continue ur live. I have done my part in ur life and it has it's own purpose. Bad, good, worse or best…all of that had purposes. And I agree with u, u don’t need me now.”

My old friend sees two friends behind me and smile to them, “Now, u have them to continue ur life. U have to let me go now…and move on with them. Together, u still have plenty of time to fill ur life with wonderful memories and also u will not do the same mistakes that u’ve done with me, good bye”

I smile and answer, ”Goodbye Past…”

After saying that, my old friend enters the train and the train goes away…leaves me and disappears.

Today, I’ve made my best decision in my life and I will not regret, never!! I’ve lost my old friend, Past but now I have two best friends to accompany me. Their names is Present and Future. Thank God for replacing my past with present and future. With U, everyday is a new day and it is priceless.

"make peace with ur past and move on..."

ps: i present this writing to a friend who have made the decision this morning...

my happy ending

I’m staring the stars, wondering how many it is
Is it millions, billions, or trillions?
It's countless
It's equal with how much U love me

i see myself in the puddle
look to the man that U've been shaped for almost 25 years
U are creating Ur masterpiece inside of me
but it hasn’t finished yet

my characters, my talents, even my weaknesses
U are still shaping all of it until now
good or bad, best or even worse
U allows all of them happen in my life

My heart is full of scars
reflects all the bad experience i've been through
My faith is tortured
by the worst case scenario that happened, uninvited

Sometimes i run from U
question why this is happening to me
but in the end, i always realize
that i find nothing outside Your grace

"let Ur will happens, not mine"
It's the hardest lesson, Dad
but U gives me the strength to do that
every morning, I’m flooded by Your grace

i will let U become the painter of my life
to finish Ur masterpiece inside of me
by the time when U finish Ur masterpiece painting
U and me will see it together

a happy ending painting =)

river of grace

There’s a place, where we regularly to meet…and talk. Sit side by side in the smooth grass.

That morning, we were sitting and staring the river in front of us. Then, God asked me to get closer to the river. The water in the river is lucid. It reflects the sunshine and creating a crystallized effect

So beautiful…

I put my hand into the water and feel the freshness of the water. God said, “My grace is like the river”

I didn’t understand what He meant

After said that, He asked me to go back to the place where we were sitting

“How did you feel when your hand touched the water in the river?” He asked

“The water is so fresh, Father. I feel like I want to drink it and if necessary I want to swim there, even You know that I can’t swim.”

He smiled. “You know, my grace to you is like the river. I’m like the river.”

“Huh?” I still didn’t get it

“When you close to Me, you will automatically can enjoy and feel My grace like when u put ur hand and feel the freshness of the water in the river. U can even drink that if u want it. Like the water freshened every cell of ur skin, my grace will freshen every part of your heart and soul everyday…Only if u…

“only if I close to You” I completed His words

He saw my hand. “Now, look at your hand. Can u still fill the freshness of the water u have touched a moment ago?”

“No, Father…my hand is not wet anymore. It has already dried. ”

“So, what do you learn from our wonderful meeting this morning?”

I answered significantly, “Always stay close to the river!”
(friday morning - October, 16th 2009)

life

i swim
in the ocean of Your grace
and get drowning into it

i walk
in the path of Your glory
with Your left hand holding my right hand

i fly
in the space of Your possibility
to let me discern that there's nothing impossible in You

i run
in the competition of my life
with You as my coach and world as the audiences

i sleep
in the blanket of Your sanctuary
then feel that i will just be always okay

Emergency Call

when u are alone
call ME…
I will be by ur side

when u need someone to listen
call ME…
I will lock my mouth and listen to u

when you are boring
call ME…
I have several things to amuse u

when your house are burnt
call ME…
and I will tell u,”Why don’t u call firefighter instead of me?”

lol, just kiddin’

when you are lost
call ME…
I will check the map for u and show u the way

when u are broken hearted
call ME…
I will help u to gather a piece by a piece from your shattered heart

when ur worst memories in the past haunt u
call ME…
I will change it with new sweet memories in this present and future

when u had a nightmare
call ME…
I will tell u that it was only a nightmare

and u will be okay…

call ME…
u’ve already had MY number
10.5.19.21.19

or maybe u can call MY personal assistant
his service maybe not as perfect as MINE
but, I know he will try his best

write his number to ur note
10.1.11
and just make the call whenever u need it =)


*clue* 1=A; 2=B; 3=C; 4=D and so on...