Melancholic. That word is so suit to me. I often think with my feeling, not my brain (really). I'm so easy to dramatize a situation or moved by others feeling. There are positive aspects and negative aspects in this. One of them is tears (and i don't know it is +/-)
People said that "a men shouldn't cried" but because of what i wrote above, sometimes i'm so easy to cry. When experienced a drama movie, when God touched my heart with HIS WORDS personally, when in desperation or hopeless or when i miss my father, i began to cry. To be honest, i often feel ashamed coz i'm a men and i shouldn't cry that easy :P
Like i wrote in my previous post, i'm never experiencing GOD as real as now. I'm in a huge struggle and i'm fighting with my hope and faith day by day. There are times that i feel so weak and hopeless. Then i cried. I locked myself in my room, prayed and cried to my only Savior.
One day GOD spoke to my deepest heart HIS words (Psalm 56:8) "You number and record my wanderings; put my tears into Your bottle--are they not in Your book?"
The other day GOD spoke to me personally in the middle of the Sunday Service. When i was in HIS presence, worshiped HIM, He told me,
"One day you will cry a happy tears not a misery one"
I couldn't tell a single word coz it was an amazing experience i had ever have. God knows and He cares for my every struggle and hope.